graduation

i'm supposed to do an emo post bout school ending, but I think I'll save that post for after STPM. can't write nice nice when i'm worried bout the exam.
we had our graduation day last Thursday, and I have to say i'm quite glad the school took the effort to do such an event. maybe it was a waste of time. but it was a good waste of time. hahaha. it felt awesome being together with friends one last moment. i told myself i'd probably cry during the last day of school, but well, there isn't exactly any last day, since most of the class are skipping school. there isnt any official last day! nabai. graduation day suppose to be happy. kenot nangis.
looking back at how I started, it has been quite a journey. who knew form 6 would be filled with drama. it feels like it was just yesterday I was mugging for the final year exam in lower 6. whereas now is the real deal.
there was an older friend of mine who told me back when i was in form 3, after PMR. he said, 'treasure the friends you have during form 4 and form 5. that few friends who you're close with are the ones who will continue to be close to you the rest of your life'. in a way, what he said was quite true. that handful of high school friends i have, we're still keeping in touch from time to time though not that often. life happened ma.
walau bagaimanapun, i feel that the friends I have in form 6, are the ones who I'll definitely be closer to for a very long time. i guess I've changed in many ways compared to the younger me back when I was 16 or 17. afterall, how I live my days now (18/19 yr old) is probably how I'll live my days for the rest of my life. what i'm trying to say is, the friends i made during this 1.5yrs are the ones who love me for who I am and there's just something behind the friendship that makes it strong. the essence of it. i have no idea how to say it. you gotta feel it!

I still sayang my ex-sfi friends dun worry. not like i'm trying to pinggirkan you all. alex tolong jangan emo ar. but you know, we've already been through a battle together (SPM) and now that we're in different paths, it's hard to relate our personal battles. whereas these assholes in form 6, we're going through the similar battle together. get my point? =S
you know, i'm just writing whatever comes to my mind. i think there's no flow to this post. i dun care. =P

oh and most of the pics i post from my camera ni. i havent received the pics from ester, cy and goh. lazy wanna wait dy. but my fault also la, i nv ask from them. ahaks.
and now i gotta go revise biology. cant wait for it to be over. hell yea. plus i decided to potong my rambut. yes this time it looks short. >_< stpm better be worth me cutting my hair.

Punch out,
Nick

woof~

i've been thinking of things to update but writer's block la. hahaha.

all i can say bout me currently is, i'm like 'BRING IT ON BITCH!!' in this case, the bitch is STPM, im excited that it's coming to an end, but also nervous la that i'm not fully prepared. but damn, it's been one heck of a journey. definitely gonna do an emo post days before bio paper. haha

last night i was a bit blue. stoning in front of comp. and i didnt wanna sleep first. cos i cudnt sleep (based on the previous night's experience). then i was browsing through facebook and i saw this photo.

then i came up with an ingenius idea to relief my stress and blues!

*picture removed*

oh this dracula cy bukan I yang buat, i give u a hint who did it, name damn kolot one, two words ni, 1st word rhymes with gun. =/

so yeong and i, we got the assistance from this brown dog above. bloody cute kan?? makes me feel like getting a dog after STPM (will nv happen dun worry)

and so so, after discussing how we shud do it, cut this and that, paste here and there, draw lines and curves....

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wait for it....


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wait for it.....

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*picture removed*

TADAH!!!!

don't kill me yian. u noe i still sayang u kan. =P

Punch out,
Nick

PS: IT'S name is woof-yian

new level

when gaming is brought to a whole new level...





got tired of gaming consoles. so we... actually I first...

then he cuba... but failed miserably.

so we...

then stpm stress got to us.

dun say i didnt update! and asshole, u btr comment.

Punch out,
Nick

worst yet best

today was not a good day.

woke up late with a hangover (hate it). i chose sleep over dim sum when my sister woke me up earlier in the morn. wth... sleeping got the best of me. wasnt in the right state of mind to make decisions.

then then bloody emo and paranoid today. but i watched grey's anatomy ep3. so quite happy la. they said... 'the only cure for paranoia is the be there just as you are'. kinda... hmm... true... real... i suppose. oh well, no matter how paranoid i get cos of STPM, the only way to get rid of it is to just be in the god damned exam hall just as i am (goodness i sound like a philosopher).

ryte im freaking depressed this weekend. maybe cos an incident that occured triggered some painful memories in the past. one connection? the phone. but no la, the thingy was just a small thingy lar. haha..

im also depressed that stpm is coming real soon. i feel like im not fully prepared. see? again. paranoia. but noooo, still, this aint the major contributing factor.

it's more like... a very very sohai ironic thing that contributed to my depression. it's the fact that form 6 is coming to an end that's making my tummy churn in a very uncomfortable way everytime i think about it.

i mean, who would've thought I'd be this attached to form 6. hell, i've never expected it at all. but now that it's ending, i feel this sense of emptiness in my heart. it's so ironic that i chuckle at myself when i think of the things i said last time.

i remember vividly when i first stepped foot into this dreaded hell zone. there were good and bad memories. like i remember meeting my first new friend, Sanjiv, when he turned around to face me during the streaming of classes and said 'Hi my name is Sanjiv, sit with me?'. i mean, it's so dorky yet, come to think of it, so impactful.

and then there was the insecurity that Chun Yian had hoping he'd enter Beta cos he wanna be close to friends. and im glad he managed to enter. and became my partner in crime. then sitting close to Lem and Jiawei made me learn so much about these awesome people. back in sfi we didnt sit THAT close so i cant say i know them personally. but now i do. then came Phillip when he ran away from Singapore and Soon Heng when he was promoted to Beta. we are a big happy family the 6 of us. but it doesnt end there.

i've got to know awesome people like Jasmine Lim, both of us will be playing the staring game to see who'd last longer. poor Sanjiv and Lavnya were in between our line vision so they always become uncomfortable when Jas n I wage war. then there's Lavnya who i've never really talked to before except for that KL trip we had after SPM, the one Ester, Meiyi, Eevon, Lavnya and I rode a bus up to shop. crazy things we did. but it was fun nonetheless. and when we ended up in the same class we clicked immediately. a true friend indeed.

u noe im fkin emo right now ryte? i mean, apart from all these good stuff, i still didnt wanna be in Form 6. i dreaded it. i was afraid of the pressure. i was afraid i might not fit in. i was relying highly on my JPA appeal. praying they'd give it to me. and when it didnt work out i was so broken. i hated form 6. i hated the choice i made. i wished at that moment i could have played the spoilt brat card after SPM and go to private colleges instead. it was a very very low time of my life. looking back i can't believe how i've reacted and said things i wish i could take back.

but now, once again, how ironic. i'm missing every single bit of my form 6 life. and it's not even over yet. god knows what i'll feel once everything's done with. form 6 has a very strong and deep place in my heart now. it has become a part of who i am.

form 6 was, and still is, the worst yet best decision i've ever made in my life.

Punch out,
Nick

PS: i noe it's long. i needed to vent out my feelings. if u've reached this far, thank you for hearing me out =)

had it all

it's funny how i always misinterpret things

maybe i'm holding on, maybe i'm letting go.

poof.

had it all but i threw it all aside thinking there was more i needed to find.

some conditions were left behind~

traded in my comfort zone for nothing.

gawd i love this song.

Punch out,
Nick

PS: by katharine mcphee